I have been asked and approached on many occasions about my definition of BDSM.  BDSM is really hard to pin down with generalized statements since at it’s core, it involves a variety of different aspects.  B/D=Bondage and Discipline.  D/S=Domination and Submission.  S/M=Sadism and Masochism.  Some people prescribe to just one of those while others might enjoy all aspects.  Also, within even these categories there are seemingly innumerable numbers of kinks.  Some kinks do center around humiliation or degradation.  A submissive may enjoy these things in various forms; whether it’s physical, emotional or mental.

So yes, some people may prefer a flavor of BDSM which is more degrading to the submissive, but not ALL BDSM is oriented that way.  Some see submission and dominance as complimentary gifts to be given and accepted by one another… that there is beauty in the dynamic.  I know that for my own dynamic, trust and respect is paramount between me and my sub.  Even in scenes that might be ‘rough’ for my sub physically, mentally or emotionally… we have discussed the scene prior to engaging in it and have ‘negotiated’ what is and is not acceptable.  Along with always having  safewords.

I have also been asked if there could have been life changing events that cause a predilection for BDSM in people.  It could be an interesting psychology evolution.  However; in my sphere of friends… we haven’t found a consistent theme.  People come from all walks of life and all sorts of backgrounds and careers.

Just as I started this reply by indicating just how many varieties and flavors of BDSM there are… these are just my own thoughts and views on the matter.  Depending on who you talk to, you may receive just as many answers.

Keep in mind, as with any group, there are some who take things to greater extremes than others…

Goddess Ashlee