Category: My BDSM World


Sex and BDSM

In the BDSM world, there are two views on dealing with sex, (penetration).  One is on a Professional Dominatrix level, (a session) and one is on a personal level (a scene). I have talked about this before, about me being a ‘different’ kind of Dominatrix as compared to most.

First let me clarify that in my Professional Dominatrix ‘sessions’, I receive ‘tributes’.  There is absolutely NO SEX, (penetration), and my Dominatrix ‘sessions”, will not be associated in any way with a prostitute/escort.

However; with that being said, the ‘no sex rule’ does not apply in my personal world. I require that my partner(s) ‘relieve’ me (multiple times), during or after a ‘scene’ as the sexual tension reaches its boiling point.  (Of course; after I get mine, then they get theirs.)  BDSM and all its kinks get me so hot and horny personally; I can hardly see the reason for not having sex as the ultimate climax.  To me, what would be the point?!?  As I said, this is only my personal world.  (Check out my website at www.AshleeChambers.com to see me enjoy myself in this manner.)

There are those out there in the BDSM world that think there should not be any sexual contact (penetration), during a session.  There appears to be a rule or ‘ritual’ started some time ago, that anyone who is a Dom/Domme of any sort, should not intend, nor expect to have sex on any level with their sub during a scene/session.  There are two sides to this coin and I happen to enjoy both, BDSM with sex on a personal level and BDSM without sex on a professional level…

Goddess Ashlee

My Definition of BDSM

I have been asked and approached on many occasions about my definition of BDSM.  BDSM is really hard to pin down with generalized statements since at it’s core, it involves a variety of different aspects.  B/D=Bondage and Discipline.  D/S=Domination and Submission.  S/M=Sadism and Masochism.  Some people prescribe to just one of those while others might enjoy all aspects.  Also, within even these categories there are seemingly innumerable numbers of kinks.  Some kinks do center around humiliation or degradation.  A submissive may enjoy these things in various forms; whether it’s physical, emotional or mental.

So yes, some people may prefer a flavor of BDSM which is more degrading to the submissive, but not ALL BDSM is oriented that way.  Some see submission and dominance as complimentary gifts to be given and accepted by one another… that there is beauty in the dynamic.  I know that for my own dynamic, trust and respect is paramount between me and my sub.  Even in scenes that might be ‘rough’ for my sub physically, mentally or emotionally… we have discussed the scene prior to engaging in it and have ‘negotiated’ what is and is not acceptable.  Along with always having  safewords.

I have also been asked if there could have been life changing events that cause a predilection for BDSM in people.  It could be an interesting psychology evolution.  However; in my sphere of friends… we haven’t found a consistent theme.  People come from all walks of life and all sorts of backgrounds and careers.

Just as I started this reply by indicating just how many varieties and flavors of BDSM there are… these are just my own thoughts and views on the matter.  Depending on who you talk to, you may receive just as many answers.

Keep in mind, as with any group, there are some who take things to greater extremes than others…

Goddess Ashlee