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Sex and BDSM

In the BDSM world, there are two views on dealing with sex, (penetration).  One is on a Professional Dominatrix level, (a session) and one is on a personal level (a scene). I have talked about this before, about me being a ‘different’ kind of Dominatrix as compared to most.

First let me clarify that in my Professional Dominatrix ‘sessions’, I receive ‘tributes’.  There is absolutely NO SEX, (penetration), and my Dominatrix ‘sessions”, will not be associated in any way with a prostitute/escort.

However; with that being said, the ‘no sex rule’ does not apply in my personal world. I require that my partner(s) ‘relieve’ me (multiple times), during or after a ‘scene’ as the sexual tension reaches its boiling point.  (Of course; after I get mine, then they get theirs.)  BDSM and all its kinks get me so hot and horny personally; I can hardly see the reason for not having sex as the ultimate climax.  To me, what would be the point?!?  As I said, this is only my personal world.  (Check out my website at www.AshleeChambers.com to see me enjoy myself in this manner.)

There are those out there in the BDSM world that think there should not be any sexual contact (penetration), during a session.  There appears to be a rule or ‘ritual’ started some time ago, that anyone who is a Dom/Domme of any sort, should not intend, nor expect to have sex on any level with their sub during a scene/session.  There are two sides to this coin and I happen to enjoy both, BDSM with sex on a personal level and BDSM without sex on a professional level…

Goddess Ashlee

My Definition of BDSM

I have been asked and approached on many occasions about my definition of BDSM.  BDSM is really hard to pin down with generalized statements since at it’s core, it involves a variety of different aspects.  B/D=Bondage and Discipline.  D/S=Domination and Submission.  S/M=Sadism and Masochism.  Some people prescribe to just one of those while others might enjoy all aspects.  Also, within even these categories there are seemingly innumerable numbers of kinks.  Some kinks do center around humiliation or degradation.  A submissive may enjoy these things in various forms; whether it’s physical, emotional or mental.

So yes, some people may prefer a flavor of BDSM which is more degrading to the submissive, but not ALL BDSM is oriented that way.  Some see submission and dominance as complimentary gifts to be given and accepted by one another… that there is beauty in the dynamic.  I know that for my own dynamic, trust and respect is paramount between me and my sub.  Even in scenes that might be ‘rough’ for my sub physically, mentally or emotionally… we have discussed the scene prior to engaging in it and have ‘negotiated’ what is and is not acceptable.  Along with always having  safewords.

I have also been asked if there could have been life changing events that cause a predilection for BDSM in people.  It could be an interesting psychology evolution.  However; in my sphere of friends… we haven’t found a consistent theme.  People come from all walks of life and all sorts of backgrounds and careers.

Just as I started this reply by indicating just how many varieties and flavors of BDSM there are… these are just my own thoughts and views on the matter.  Depending on who you talk to, you may receive just as many answers.

Keep in mind, as with any group, there are some who take things to greater extremes than others…

Goddess Ashlee

Swinging

 

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I am often asked how I got my start in porn.  I have always had an insatiable appetite for all forms of sex, a true nymphomaniac.  As life went on, I explored with many different types of lifestyles.  I insisted in being in control but was also drawn to strong Dominate men, which for a time, was quite the conflict.

At some point, a boy-toy I was dating at the time introduced me to Swinging.  we went to a Swinging convention that lasted the weekend and afterwards; I was hooked.  Here I seemed to have found my niche.  I could really be my sexual self and be accepted by all involved.  I tried things with other men and women that I had only fantasized about before, all in the space of a couple of days.  By the time we got back home, I was exhausted; but had so much sexual energy that I couldn’t rest or sleep.  I was definitely hooked.

I started going to every swinging convention, hotel take-over, swinger club, meet and greet, and house party that was thrown for swingers.  Soon, I was throwing my own parties where we had wild orgies and endless sex marathons for days.  Couples and singles came and went as they pleased and the party never slowed down until I was just too exhausted to continue, only to start the whole thing up again the next weekend.

There were always pictures being taken and video cameras rolling and somehow, I managed to be in every picture and on every video.  Many times I was asked why I didn’t have a web site up since I truly enjoyed having sex in every possible way, and I had absolutely no problem being filmed.

For a while I toyed with the idea until one weekend I met a really cool webmaster that gave me some great ideas.  He was also a Master Dom.  He took me to my first BDSM/Swinger party.  In one of the rooms, the host had a fully functioning dungeon.  I watched the Master at work on a sub and my pussy got sooo wet.  The rest is history as I have now become a rather hot Dominatrix.  The Master and I stay in touch and every now and then we do a scene together, but more on that later…

Goddess Ashlee